Enneagram Shame Triad Explained

Published Categorized as Enneagram
Enneagram Shame Triad Explained

If you are an enneagram 2, 3, or 4, you are in the enneagram shame triad. If you don’t know what that means, read this blog to find out what it is and why it’s so important to know about your triad.

What Are The Enneagram Triads?

Picture the enneagram like a clock with numbers 1 through 9. Now imagine you broke this clock into 3rds. These are the triads. Each triad is separated by the core emotion they struggle with, anger, fear, or shame. And while there are three types in each triad, each type copes with the core emotion they struggle with differently.

The Enneagram Triads
Check out this visual representation of the triads.

If you know your enneagram type, you have to learn about the triad you are in because your triad will help on your journey to your highest self and experience more emotional liberation which is what we are all about here at making mindfulness fun.

So let’s dive in to what the enneagram shame triad is…

Enneagram Shame Triad

Enneagram Shame Triad

Enneagram types 2, 3, and 4 are in the shame triad which means the core emotion you struggle with is shame. People in this triad feel unworthy of love and so they struggle with feeling image conscious, afraid of judgement, and never enough.

This triad is also known as the heart triad. The heart triad makes decisions from their heart and emotions. Emotions are strongest felt in this triad.

However, 2s, 3s, and 4s each cope with this shame differently…

Enneagram Shame Triad Stances

Related Blog: 61 Affirmations for Self-Worth

How Each Enneagram Copes With Shame

In each triad, there is one type that expresses emotions, represses emotions, and one that falls asleep to emotions. This is how we cope with the core emotion we struggle with.

  • Type 4s express their emotions. Acknowledging that they feel shame and unworthiness at their heart.
  • 3s fall asleep to all emotions. They hide and ignore that they feel shame and unworthiness and pretend there is no bad feelings in their heart.
  • And type 2s repress their emotions. They acknowledge the shame and unworthiness but run from feeling it.
Enneagram 2 In The Shame Triad
Here’s a quick overview of the enneagram 2 within the shame triad.

Enneagram 2s In The Shame Triad

The type 2 is The Helper. They are known for their kind, giving, and empathetic nature.

The core belief enneagram 2s struggle with as a part of the shame triad is that if they aren’t always serving others, they are unworthy of love.

Type 2s end up looking to the external world to deal with their shame. They feel everyone else’s emotions as a way to feel worthy and run from their own feelings.

More of a listener than a reader? Watch our video where we break down the enneagram shame triad!

This leads them to repressing all of their needs and forget their sense of self because they believe the only way they can receive love is by being perceived as selfless.

2s feel that if they don’t endlessly give, are selfless, help others, or if they take care of their own needs, then they don’t deserve love.

Related Blog: Enneagram 2 In Stress & Growth

Enneagram 3 In The Shame Triad
Here’s a quick overview of the enneagram 3 within the shame triad.

Enneagram 3s In The Shame Triad

The type 3 is The Achiever. They are known for their driven, ambitious, and socially like-able nature.

The core belief enneagram 3s struggle with as a part of the shame triad is that if they aren’t always achieving more, they are unworthy of love.

Type 3s numb and ignore their emotions in order to deal with their shame. They believe that if they allow themselves to be human, enjoy life, and show their emotions they will be unloved.

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This leads them to pushing people away and feeling stressed because they believe the only way they can receive love is by being perceived as successful.

3s feel that if they don’t have the newest car, are the most liked, the best on the team, or the most successful in their job, then they don’t deserve love.

Related Blog: Enneagram 3 In Stress & Growth

Enneagram 4 In The Shame Triad
Here’s a quick overview of the enneagram 4 within the shame triad.

Enneagram 4s In The Shame Triad

The type 4 is The Individualist. They are known for their artistic, quirky, and expressive nature.

The core beliefs type 4s struggle with as a part of the shame triad is that if they aren’t unique, they are unworthy of love.

Type 4s feel into their emotions in order to deal with their shame. They believe they have to portray a unique identity and that their authentic selves won’t be loved.

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This leads them to not forming deep connections with the people they love because they believe the only way they can receive love is by being perceived as unique.

4s will wear their emotions on their sleeve, show up as a perfectly curated image to hide that feeling of unworthiness they feel at their core.

4s feel that if they don’t appear special, wear their sadness on their sleeve, or are exceptionally creative in some way, then they don’t deserve love.

Related Blog: Enneagram 4 In Stress & Growth

Have any more questions about what the enneagram shame triad is? Leave a comment below!

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