Do you think you have an enneagram type 7 child? Read this blog for everything you need to know about parenting the enneagram 7 as a child!
Enneagram 7 Child Overview
The enneagram type seven child is called The Enthusiast.
Traits Of An Enneagram 7 Child…
- and Friendly
Signs Your Child Is An Enneagram 7
- They like to keep things light & are usually the class clowns
- Extremely social and will talk to strangers
- They show their affection easily
- Can often avoid responsibilities
- Initiate the fun, try to get everyone else onboard for something exciting
- Can swing from daredevil to fearful
What The Enneagram 7 Child Wants
- Core Desire: Positivity, Fun, Newness
- Core Fear: Negativity, Unpleasant-ness, Loneliness
As an enneagram seven child, their core desire is to have fun and feel joy. This core desire comes from the fear that “if I feel anything negative, I am being harmed”
All an enneagram 7 child wants is for everyone to be happy and put the attention on them.
They often seek this core desire through making jokes, doing something daring to bring thrill into their life, or instigating something fun with friends.
What An Enneagram 7 Child Needs.
So what do enneagram 7 children need? First, a 7 child needs their core desire of fun fulfilled by doing things that are new, entertaining, and fulfilling.
This could be going for a run, hanging out with friends, or a creative hobby.
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But the enneagram 7 child also needs to embrace both their wings. A type 7 child will feel ill at ease if they don’t have challenge in their life (for their 8 wing) and loyal connections + stability for their 6 wing.
And finally, an enneagram 7 child needs to embrace the healthy traits of their growth numbers.
Finding time to take keep their life organized to their benefit (, embracing the enneagram 1,) and withdrawing into their mind (taking on the enneagram 5) is extremely important for the enneagram 7 child.
What An Enneagram 7 Child Struggles With
As the enneagram 7 child is part of the Fear Triad, fear is something type 7 kids struggle with a lot. Specifically, the fear of feeling negative emotions.
When a type 7 child feels that they might get pulled down into that negativity, they start to over-compensate by chasing more fun in unhealthy ways. This can show up as toxic positivity, inability to sit in silence, avoiding responsibilities, over-indulgence, or lack of focus.
Because of this, enneagram 7 children can have trouble dealing with conflict and being alone.
An Example Of This…
My younger brother is a stereotypical enneagram 7. We were having dinner and throughout the whole week, the family has been very frustrated.
Everyone was choosing to eat dinner in silence since we were all very tired, except for my type 7 brother who was getting very uncomfortable with the silence and took this as a signal to make more jokes and ask random questions no one wanted to answer then.
This led to the rest of the family being more frustrated than before and my brother even more insistent on trying to “fix” everyone’s mood and saying I just want everyone to be happy.”
Enneagram 7 Child In Stress
Enneagram 7 children go one of two ways in stress…
- Option 1, they become controlling and uncooperative. Stepping into the negative Enneagram 1 qualities. Not in the sense that they suddenly lose their free-loving spirit and become a responsible person, in fact, this stress amplifies their need for fun more and they go about attaining it with more intensity and control.
- Option 2, which is rarely talked about, is a 7 child in stress can become withdrawn and hoard their time, taking on the unhealthy aspects of the Enneagram 5!
Overall, the normally easygoing and friendly type 7 child in stress becomes more emotionally volatile.
Instead of embracing their negative emotions, they are trying to block them off and so they become hostile, easily being aggressive, then apologetic, and using humor to play the whole conflict off.
Signs Of A Stressed Enneagram 7…
- Inability to focus
- Hostile emotions
- Over-protective of their opinions
- Chasing stimulus
- Uncomfortable sitting still
- Trying to control the fun
- Over-indulgent in social media, sugar, or other substances
- Unexpected aggression
- Using humor in uncomfortable situations
- Defensive about what they do and why
- Having trouble staying focused
- Can’t have a serious conversation
A type 7 goes into stress by having their childhood wound triggered. A situation happens (, or many situations) where their childhood belief of “If I feel negativity, I will be abandoned” is brought back to the surface and so they go into survival mode to avoid being harmed.
Enneagram 7 Child In Health
The word I like to use to summarize the enneagram 7 child in health is moderation. The Enthusiast child, who is so great at doing things to the fullest, will be able to moderate everything they do. They can moderate how much they speak and consume, they moderate their emotions + reactions, and they moderate their social time + alone time.
The enneagram 7 child at their best finds more enjoyment in life because they’ve created a space for their negative emotions and can experience more emotional depth. They learn to be more fulfilled by small things rather than always chasing something new.
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Signs Of A Healthy Enneagram 7…
- In touch with their negative emotions
- Chasing stimulus less
- Can express their emotions without becoming aggressive or hostile
- More focus and complete their tasks
- Make space for others’ negative emotions
- Relaxed around others rather than amped
- They can have a serious conversation
- Healthy moderation
- Channeling their positive attitude in ways that helps others
- Spending time alone happily
- Handling responsibilities
The 7w6 child fulfills their core desire of fun by having a routine that keeps them stable and a big social circle to maximize the fun.
They take on the appearance of The Loyalist in some aspects, meaning that they seem cautious, routine-oriented, and community-focused. These people can seem a bit anxious when it comes to uncertainty and adventure. 7w6s kids are social butterflies and they love to be part of community events, throw parties, volunteer, etc.
If your child is a 7w6, it is vital that you have routines and systems in place that keep them in check and provide them with the grounding they deeply desire.
Enneagram 7w8 Child
The 7w8s child fulfills their core desire for fun by challenging themselves. It is extremely important to 7w8 kids that they are testing their limits, whether it is physical or mental, and getting their adrenaline fix.
A 7 wing 8 child cares more about challenging yourself, not so that you can be the best, but because it keeps the fun high. The 7w8 seems to have endless amounts of energy, more than the w6, and it needs to be directed.
7w8 kids need to remember that their core desire of fun combined with a need for challenge is often used to start a debate or conflict that can get you on people’s bad side. Or on the other hand, you can repress this powerful energy and it turns into anxiety.
If you are a 7w8, make sure you are getting this energy out in healthy ways!
Nurturing An Enneagram 7 Child
So how can we nurture enneagram 7 children?
Growth for the enneagram 7 child isn’t just about forcing them to be alone and throwing negativity at them. It’s about embracing learning to face life more rationally.
Help your type 7 child learn to recognize negativity and say “okay, I recognize that this is uncomfortable for me, I feel antsy and, I can feel my negative emotions rising, and instead of running, I’m going to sit in the stillness and breathe. I know that I am okay.”
Give your type 7 permission to feel down. “What if you saw your negative emotions as your friend rather than an enemy? Could you try feeling and embracing negativity? What if you knew that negative emotions were only temporary, that they come and go?”
Parenting Checklist For The Enneagram 7 Child
- Have fun with them
- Create an environment where expressing negative emotions feels normal and safe
- Get them comfortable with being alone
- Teach them to self-entertain
- Help them realize that what they feel isn’t always what everyone else feels
- Make sure they have lots of connections to be social
- Give them a place to challenge themselves
- Help them find balance between responsibility and spontaneity
- Don’t stifle their wild energy completely
- Give them plenty of physical exercise
- Help them find healthy sources for their desire of newness
They need people for their happiness, give them time to play and challenge themselves with others. Once they are having their core desire met, nurture an enneagram 7 child by helping them step into their growth number, and enneagram 5.
What tips or questions do you have about raising an enneagram 7 child? Comment below and let us know!
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