Discover everything you should know about the Enneagram 4 personality type, also known as The Individualist or The Romantic by reading this blog!
What Does It Mean To Be An Enneagram 4?
Being an enneagram 4 means you were raised to believe you weren’t enough as you are. So now, as an adult, you have a strong desire to be important to the world and you try hard to cultivate a sense of self and identity. You do this by associating with social groups, identifying with the things you do, or being hyper-independent and telling yourself you “don’t fit in” with any group.
The Enneagram 4 Stereotype
Stereotypically, the 4 is said to be extremely creative. They go through phases as a teen, act melancholy, stare out the window whimsically while listening to their sad playlist, and write poetry to share how they feel with the word.
While some 4s may be like this. This is not what most 4s are like. I am bringing to light this stereotype because it is the main reason so many people mistype!
Not every 4 is melancholy, creative, artistic, moody, eccentric, and expressive. Some 4s are headstrong, enthusiastic, selfless, or even blend in with the crowd.
If you are an enneagram four, you are known as The Individualist. You are likable, quirky, and independent. As a 4, your core desire is to be important to the world because, in childhood, you were taught that you aren’t enough as you are and so you have to be selfless or special to be valuable.
Enneagram 4 Description
The enneagram type four is known as The Individualist. The 4 is characterized by their quirky, self-confident, and independent role they take on. If you are a 4, your core desire is to be important because, in childhood, you were taught that you have to make an impact on the world or be “special” to be enough.
Traits of an Enneagram 4
Because the 4’s core desire is to be important, they can take on many different personality traits and appearances. The 4 can commonly appear like a 7 and a 2 (their stress number).
In the first example, the 4 appear to be the life of the party. People would describe this 4 as impulsive, a daredevil, or the class clown. However, the 4 differs from the 7 in the sense that they also have a selfless and disciplined side of them.
The 4 can commonly be seen helping friends in need, lending a hand, or self-sacrificing for the sake of someone or something else.
And all 4s have one part of them that is best described as quirky. The 4 appears to have a strong sense of self, owns their different perspectives on life (even if it doesn’t make them popular), and confidently shares the things they enjoy even if that makes them different.
Your wings also play a huge factor in your behavior because your wings determine your behavior. Read our blog on the 4’s wings, click here.
Enneagram 4 In Stress
A stressed enneagram 4 is selfless, self-sacrificing, controlling, and bitter because they can’t say “no” when people ask for help. Taking on the negative traits of the Enneagram 2, the stressed 4 loses sight of their desires, represses their needs, and becomes resentful towards others since they gave too much to them.
Each enneagram type has specific signs that they are under stress! They take on the negative traits of a different number in stress.
The independent and individualistic type 4 becomes selfless, self-sacrificing, controlling and bitter in stress.
4s can struggle to say “no” when people ask for help. So they take on more responsibilities than they should and burn themselves out.
This leads the 4 to lose sight of their desires, repress their needs, and become resentful towards others since they gave too much to them.
Read our blog on the 4 in stress and growth.
Enneagram 4 In Growth
The Enneagram 4 in growth incorporates discipline, intention, and fairness. They take on the healthy traits of the Enneagram 1 by acting from a balanced emotional standpoint and giving equal time to themselves and others .
Each enneagram type has specific signs that they are in a healthy state of growth! They take on the positive traits of a different number in growth.
When the Enneagram 4 embraces their growth, they learn to see everything with more neutrality and intention. Instead of letting themselves be pushed around by everyone else’s needs, they prioritize their own.
The type 4 learns how to give equal time to themselves and others and to see life more neutrally. They know that they are worthy and that they have value no matter what they do.
Get my top self-care tips for the Enneagram 4!
Enneagram 4 Common Mistypes
Some of the Enneagram types are very similar to one another. This is why it’s important to take your time and learn about each type before you type yourself!
As I briefly covered earlier, the 4 will commonly see themselves as their stress number, the 2, or as a 7.
Find out more about the Enneagram 4’s common mistypes in this blog
Try Our Enneagram Test
Enneagram 4 Subtypes
In the enneagram, there are three variations of each type called Instinctual Subtypes.
These 3 subtypes are determined by the 3 major survival instincts we operate on.
The SX Enneagram 4 (Sexual 4)
The SX type 4 is the most aggressive of the subtypes, commonly known as the “angry 4.” SX 4s seek out 1-on-1 connections, which makes them happy with fewer connections and tending towards being a “lone wolf.” Because, if the 4 can’t be understood and accepted by someone, they’d rather just be alone and do their own thing. The SX 4 has high emotional self-respect.
The SP Enneagram 4 (Self-Preserving 4)
SP 4s appears the most like the 2. The SP 4 is reserved, friendly, likable, and giving. With welcoming personalities, they get along with everyone. Everyone seems to like these 4s due to their agreeable and diplomatic nature. However, the Sp 4 can draw the line hard if you over-step their boundaries. The SP 4 wants to make sure that everyone gets along and also gives them their time, space, and freedom to do as they please.
The SO Enneagram 4 (Social 4)
The SO 4 finds their feeling of importance. in a group. Having the approval of friends, colleagues, and social circles is extremely important for the SO 4. This subtype can find themselves commonly trying to fit in when growing up and seeking out social groups to mold into. The SO 4 is the closest to the melancholy stereotype and by-far the most emotionally expressive of the 4s. The SO 4 tends to be the most artistic of the 4s.
What An Enneagram 4 Needs To Hear
Dear enneagram 4s, we are sorry that we made you feel like you would never be enough for us. We are sorry we made you feel different and unaccepted. You are important to this world exactly as you are.
Enneagram 4 Romantic Compatibility
The Enneagram 4 will get along the most with enneagram 6s and other 4s. 6s can make the 4s feel valued and supported. And 4s can do well with other 4s because they accept each other for who they are.
The enneagram type 4 will be drawn towards other types that make them feel important and accepted.
Commonly, the enneagram 4 will seek out type 6s who are loyal and dependable. The type 6 also needs someone who will be loyal back and the 4 can fulfill that need.
However, 4s can commonly end up with other 4s because they mirror each other and can easily fulfill one another’s core desires.
And finally, it is possible for 4s to be with the easygoing and accepting 9. The 4 enjoys the company of the daydreaming and creative 9.
Find out more about the Enneagram 4 Compatibility (coming soon)
Best Careers For An Enneagram 4
Because the Enneagram 4’s core desire is to be important, the type 4 can end up in a wide variety of careers. And it depends on which wing they embrace more heavily
Potentially fulfilling careers for the 4 would be…
- Teaching roles
- Creative careers
- Careers in building
- Analytical careers (bookkeeping, etc)
- Theory-based project work (engineering, mathematician, etc)
The Enneagram 4 can end up in a wide variety of careers. They make great Teachers, Book-keepers, Guides, and Engineers. Any job where they can cultivate a big vision and not deal with the small details can suit them as well.
What questions do you still have about the Enneagram 4? Let me know in the comments below!
Grab the free enneagram cheatsheets before you go to learn everything you need to know about each type.
- Enneagram 4 In Stress & Growth
- The Nine Enneagram Types: Which Type Are You?
- Most Common Enneagram Mistypes
- Enneagram 4w3 VS 4w5 Comparison: Which Wing Are You?